December 2006
** The King of All Vacations is off until
2007.....enjoy the replays!
Today, Robin Quivers finally broke her nine game losing streak in the
Mike Walker game, riding Fred's coattails to victory.
Over the past 25 weeks, Robin has earned a losing record of 22/25, 88%
(a winning percentage of 12%).
If the gang's on vacation next week, Robin can't lose!! (12-14)
-The Amazed Listener
This morning, Howard mentioned that Martha Stewart is dating one of the
owners of Microsoft. Robin Quivers chimed in: "Yes, she's
dating a wealthy man."
Thanks, Robin, for confirming that an owner of Microsoft would be
considered "wealthy." If you can't name him (Charles
Simonyi), why don't you just shut up and stop slowing down the show!
(12-14)
-The Amazed Listener
 On
the show this morning Howard played a game of guess who is gay with
George Takei. Three contestants were brought in the studio and
Howard instructed George to use his gaydar and any evidence he observed
to decide which one was gay.
Robin Quivers chimed in, "any infliction."
She obviously meant "inflection", but isn't smart enough to know the
difference. (12-13)
-The Amazed Listener
On the show today, Howard was talking about his appearance on Letterman
last night. Howard said during the interview he mentioned
that Artie once had a problem with heroin.
After he left the studio Howard said he began thinking it might not be a
good idea that he said Artie had used heroin in his past. He then
called the people at The Late Show to ask for it to be cut out of the
segment. Howard asked, can you imagine a fan hearing that Artie is
on heroin?
Artie sprang to life defending himself and said, not on, was!
Robin Quivers then interrupted and said, that is what I am saying (probably
the 50th time she said that on today's show) it could have been
misconscrewed. (12-13)
-Robin's Dad
After Jon Hein talked about what was going to be on the wrap up show
today, Howard mentioned a shipment that Jon got from Amazon. Hein
explained that the box was addressed to him, but when he opened the box
he found the contents were meant for
Maggie Gyllenhal.
Newly graduated Postal Inspector Robin Quivers then interrupted and said
that this could be a violation of federal law. Hein said for the
second time that the package was addressed to him and he didn't know
what was in the box until he opened it. Robin then said, oh it was
address to you. Way to pay attention Robin.
She then went on to show that she has no clue about mail, or the law
when she said that if you open mail that isn't addressed to you it's
illegal.
I spoke with a real U.S. Postal Inspector today and was told that once
mail is put into my mailbox it is considered good service and my
property and I can open it even if my name is not on it. Is there
any doubt why George Takei thinks Robin is a know it all?? (12-12)
-Robinswrong
 On
the show today Howard was asking Artie a few sports questions. He
started out asking about the Giants, them moved on to the Yankees.
Howard asked about Andy Pettitte coming back to the Yanks.
That is when clueless Robin Quivers interrupted and said, the Yankees
did him wrong when they traded him to Houston.
Pettitte left the Yankees as a
free agent after the 2003 season, he wasn't traded.
(12-12)
-Robinswrong
 This
morning, Artie was discussing his gig at the Playboy Mansion and
mentioned that, among other members of the audience,
Jerry Buss was
there. Robin Quivers chimed in, "the football player?"
Apparently, Robin was thinking about
Jerome Bettis.
No, Artie corrected, (as everyone except Robin knows) the owner of the
Los Angeles Lakers NBA basketball team. (12-11)
-The Amazed Listener
The gang was discussing why John Stamos is not as big a star as Brad
Pitt. Robin Quivers interrupted with: "Maybe it's because he's
Greek."
The Amazed Listener doesn't know the ethnic heritage of Brad Pitt, but
John Stamos is an American with Greek ancestry. What does ethnic
heritage have to do with this subject anyway? Numerous huge stars have
Greek heritage. Jennifer Aniston and Telly Savalas immediately come to
mind. What a racist comment! (12-11)
-The Amazed Listener
Howard took a call from someone this morning that said she saw Fred
Norris on the Regis & Kelly show Friday. Robin Quivers shrieked,
how did I miss that I was watching!
Well Robin, if you pay attention while watching TV as much as you do
when you are on the Howard Stern Show, then there is no doubt how you
could have missed it. Fred then commented that Robin must not have
been watching that closely.
Howard then started to explain that Kelly Ripa wanted to ask people on
the street how cold it was and Fred was the first person they talked
with. Howard started to describe the face Fred made to convey that
it was cold, when Robin interrupted again and said, he gave you cold in
his face!
Robin didn't even see Fred on TV, yet she can't keep her mouth shut long
enough to let Howard explain and she attempts to hijack the segment.
Classic Quivers. (12-11)
-Robinswrong
** The King of All Vacations is off Friday
December 8th, 2006. Enjoy master tape theater...
During the news Robin Quivers talked about Leonardo DiCaprio's new
movie, Blood Diamond.
In the movie, DiCaprio attempts, as Quivers called it, an "Afrikaner"
accent as the movie takes place in South Africa.
DiCaprio's character is named Danny Archer so he's presumably of British
descent and therefore not an Afrikaner, and doesn't have an Afrikaner
accent. (12-7)
-Quiet Quivers
Howard wasted everyone's time talking about Bubba the Love Sponge's b.s.
pro-wrestling storyline styled rant about leaving because he wasn't
making any money. The point came up if Bubba the Love Sponge was
his real name. Robin Quivers interrupted and said flatly that it
wasn't.
Too bad for Robin someone checked online and within seconds they
corrected her by informing the know it all that Bubba did in fact
legally change his name. (12-7)
-Robinswrong
The news is supposed to be the time to shine for Robin Quivers.
Unfortunately, it is more often then not the time when she fubars the
most.
This morning during the news Robin read a story about the
100 best catchphrases in TV history. She read the first three
on the list and then butchered the famous John F. Kennedy quote as she
said, "ask not what you can do for your country."
As the majority of people know the quote goes, "Ask not what your
country can do for you - ask what you can do for your country."
Then Robin realized she hadn't even read the list in order (which is on
copy right in front of her face!) and the Kennedy quote was actually
5th. (12-7)
-Robinswrong
Robin's losing streak in the Mike Walker game reached nine straight
today and 22 out of the last 24, for those keeping score. That's a
winning percentage of 8.33%, exactly one-third the proficiency we'd
expect from Gary the Retard (25%). Even a blind-folded dart thrower
throwing darts at a dart board with four sectioned regions would be more
proficient. (12-7)
-The Amazed Listener
Today Howard mentioned that he met Carl Bernstein the previous night.
Of course, motor-mouth Robin Quivers said, "Did you speak to him?"
Robin, don't you usually have to speak to someone when you meet?
If she would put the paper down for ten seconds and pay attention to the
show, she might not make such idiotic statements. But then she
would be so prepared for the news...(12-5)
-Quiet Quivers
On the show this morning Howard was talking about possible punishments
for Michael Richards racist outburst. He said Richards should eat Oprah
out on stage. Then everyone was naming black women that he could eat
out.
That's when Robin Quivers suggested someone. Her suggestion? Maya
ANGELA.
Obviously, the woman's name is Angelou but know it all Robin is
clueless. The best part is that earlier in the show, she was on her soap
box complaining about slavery and how "we" get treated. Then she
mispronounces the name of a very famous African American advocate and
author.....classic Quivers! (12-4)
-Robin's Dad
** The King of All Vacations is off Friday
December 1st, 2006. Enjoy master tape theater...
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