August 2006

** The King of All Vacations is off today Friday, August 25th, so there are no updates today.

We have to send out congratulations to Robin Quivers.  After losing the Mike Walker game today, she has now lost six weeks in a row.  (8-24)

Here is where Robin's losing streak ranks all time:

-Robinswrong

Jeff the Drunk called into the show this morning and talked about his job opportunity at a grocery store.  Howard asked him a few questions about his qualifications and what else was on the application.  Jeff replied, nothing that's all. 

Robin Quivers then said, in the application you had to say your age.

From Entrepreneur.com
"Employers also should not request the applicant's age, date of birth, dates of high school or college graduation, or any other information that would tend to identify applicants over the age of 40."

Note to self...add lack of basic business knowledge to list of things Robin doesn't know about.  (8-24)

-Robinswrong

On today's show Howard was asking Jeff the drunk his work history.   Jeff said he was a hand stamper and a toll collector.  That's when Robin said, yea, a toll booth collector.  Jeff did not collect toll booths.   At least I don't think he did.  (8-24)

-Robin's Dad

Now Robin Quivers can't even read her own news copy correctly.  Today she read from a story about Tom Cruise and Paramount parting ways, but she couldn't even get the number of years they had worked together correct.  She said 12, when the copy she had said 14. 

How does Robin keep the quality of her work so very high?  (8-23)

-Quiet Quivers

While Joan Rivers was on the show this morning, everyone started trying to guess what was older e.g., Joan or the Hoover Damn.

Artie asked, is it possible for this statement to be true: the day Joan was born her mother had a busy day because she also had to vote for President.

Artie laughed and started to say, no I believe women got to vote in....That's when Robin Quivers interrupted and said, in 1912!

Quite a few things happened in 1912:  The first National Hockey Association game, Arizona became the 48th state and the Dixie Cup was invented.  Unfortunately, the 19th Amendment guaranteeing women the right to vote wasn't ratified until 1920.  (8-23)

-Robin's Dad & Robinwrong

Howard was talking about Accutane and its side effects this morning.  That's when Robin had to interrupt and say, it takes 20 years for a pharmaceutical company to determine what the side effects are!

It takes three-five (at most ten) years to develop/test and implement most drugs.  If it took 20 years to determine the side effects of a drug we'd still be in the middle ages feeding whiskey to people during an amputation.  (8-22)

-jay d.

On today's show Howard played more clips of the William Shatner roast.  When it was Shatner's turn, he made a joke about Lisa Lampanelli winning the Kentucky Derby.  Artie said, poor Lisa...people are just directly calling her a horse.  To which Robin replied, it's the third or fourth time!! 

Sorry Robin, it was just twice  (8-22)

-Robin's Dad

During the news today Robin talked about Tiger Woods winning the PGA Championship yesterday.  She said it was some pretty amazing golf and she isn't even a fan.  She continued, here is a guy (Tiger Woods) that knocks it into the bunker and still makes par...amazing!

Dear Robin, that is why they are on the PGA tour.  It isn't amazing when they knock it into the bunker and save par.  It is just another shot for them.  What is amazing is when they hit into the sand and still get a birdie.

For those scoring at home, please now add golf to the ever growing list of subjects that Robin Quivers knows nothing about.  (8-21)

-Robinswrong

Howard read an email during the news...

I almost crashed my car this morning when I heard the Mike Walker phony phone call to the porno store...

Howard: I've played so many phony phone calls I don't even remember where I put that one.  Do you remember that one Robin?
Robin:  Which one?
Howard: Mike Walker calls the porno shop.
Robin:  Oh ya, that was a good one.

Welcome to the show Robin.  (8-21)

-Robinswrong

Robin did a story about a Muslim pilgrimage to holy sites on today's show.  They played a clip of gunfire that had erupted and Howard said it sounded like one of those tap dancing shows.  Then he asked who was the black guy that used to tap dance?

Robin Quivers again trying to act as if she knows all blurted out, oh, Jeffrey Hines!  Artie corrected her saying it was Gregory Hines.  Then she tried to cover up her blunder...oh, what did I just say?

Sorry Robin, we know what you said.  And now, so does the rest of the world. : )  (8-21)

-The Judge & Robinswrong

After Lisa G came in for the news update this morning, Robin Quivers said she had listened to the Riley Martin marathon.  She then said, Riley is undescribable.

Undiscribable isn't a word.  Robin should have said indescribable.  (8-21)

-The Judge

During this morning's segment on the Teen Choice awards Howard said Jillian Barberie was one of the hosts and asked how that marriage was going.  Robin responded, she got married???

Note to Robin, when someone says, I wonder how that marriage is going, it means someone got married.  And it is only about the fourth time this topic has been covered on the show.  (8-21)

-Robinswrong

On today's show Howard was asking everyone the name of the cartoon character that makes that squeaky nasal laughing sound.  The answer of course was "Muttley", but before someone gave the correct answer Robin Quivers said, it's Foghorn Leghorn!  (8-21)

-Robin's Dad

On the show this morning Howard and Robin were discussing Rosie O'Donnell starting out on The View.  Robin commented that Rosie would likely take over the entire show and get rid of everyone else off the couch. 

Howard said that couldn't occur because Barbara Walters owns half the show.  Robin then responded,  I don't know..I don't know.  (8-21)

-The Amazed Listener


** The King of All Vacations is off today Friday, August 18th, so there are no updates today.

The Mike Walker Gossip Game returned today after a few weeks absence.  The time off didn't help Robin Quivers as she picked the wrong story again and extended her losing streak to five in a row.  This is the second time this year Robin has had a losing streak of five consecutive weeks.

If anyone knows of an online gambling site that offers odds on Robin and the gossip game, please let us know as we would like to make some VERY easy money.  (8-17)

-Robinswrong

This morning Artie was talking about one of his jokes at the William Shatner roast.  It was about how his fingers were stuck together because he was jerking off and shot a load on his hand.  He was referring to the way Spock used to hold his fingers apart

Thats when Robin blurted out, yaa...nanoo nanoo or whatever.

Which is what Mork from Ork used to say, not Mr. Spock.  (8-17)


-Robin's Dad

On Today's show Howard talked about the new Sirius receiver the Stiletto.  Thankfully, Robin Quivers was able to provide more details when she said, it's a portable unit that is totally portable.

We were really glad the Robin cleared up whether it was "totally portable" or not, since the definition of portable is something carried or moved with ease.   (8-16)

-Robinswrong

Who could have ever imagined that Robin Quivers would think she was an expert in the areas of metaphysical and spiritual items?

Jon Anderson of the band Yes stopped by this morning and talked about his spiritual journey into the fourth to the eighth dimensions. 

Howard asked if it was true that Anderson mediated with crystals and dreamcatchers before a show.  Robin then butted in to say a dreamcatcher is another crystally (sic) kind of thing.

It doesn't look much like a crystally kind of thing to us...  (8-16)

-Robinswrong

During the news Robin Quivers talked about Fox News reporter Steve Centanni, who was kidnapped in Gaza. 

For those of you keeping score at home, you can add Centanni to the very long list of names that Robin can not pronounce.  (8-15)

-Robinswrong

Today Robin Quivers provided one more nail into the coffin that holds what little intelligence people might believe she has.

Bo-Bo called into the show this morning and read an excerpt from Hamptons Magazine that said Howard was boyish looking. 

Robin then butted in and said she had a conversation with the boat captain from her party about Howard's age.  She told the captain about throwing a party for Howard's 52nd birthday.  The captain responded by saying he thought Howard was only about 35.

Howard said how awesome he looked in person and pictures of him weren't accurate.  Then Robin said, I thought you would appreciate that, he really, literally, was blown away.

The last time we checked, "literally" means something along the lines of without interpretation or embellishment.  Boiled down: it's an actual thing.  Either the captain was lifted away by a huge gust of wind or was hit by a cannon and splattered all over the boat.

Robin should have said the captain was figuratively blown away.  If someone could forward her this link it might help clear up the confusing issue of literally vs. figuratively that everyone else learned in junior high English class.  (8-14)

-The Judge

This morning Robin said that she had been trying to get into the show, Kyle KY.

Kyle KY might be a huge hit at the stroke job theaters or some new type of lube, but we think she was referring to the ABC program Kyle XY.  (8-14)

-Robinswrong

This morning, Gary was describing how the military honored his father at his funeral.  Gary was describing how the military officers present slowly folded the flag & handed it to their commander when Robin interrupted to provide her expertise that they handed it to the widow. Gary continued, explaining that they handed the folded flag to their commander who handed it to Gary's mom. 

Then Gary described the statement read by the military men thanking his father for his service to our country.  Before Gary could get out the words, Robin interrupted  again to say they were thanking Gary's father for his service to "something."  Robin, a former military officer herself, is completely oblivious to the fact that deceased military people are thanked for service to their country!

-The Amazed Listener  

P.S. Also of note is the fact that Robin didn't attend the funeral.  She was probably out practicing for what will undoubtedly be someone else's or her funeral (racing a car).  (8-14)

We would like to extend our condolences to Gary Dell'Abate.  We are sorry to hear about the loss of your father.  (8-8)

** The King of All Vacations is taking off the week of August 7th thru the 11th.  We will be back next week with more f-up's from Robin Quivers.

** The King of All Vacations was off on Friday, August 4th, so there are no updates today.

Before the start of the new wack packer contest, Howard asked Gary to come in and give him some details.  Howard asked how much the winner gets and know-it-all Robin Quivers blurted out, $10,000. 

The winner should have held her to that since the real amount paid by the sponsor, Golden Palace, was only $5,000.  (8-3)

-Robinswrong

Howard:  Cuba Gooding jr. is stopping by the show today.
Artie:  My old co-star.
Robin: That's right you did a movie with him.
Artie:  I want to see if he remembers me, I did a full scene with him.
Robin:  I think you danced with him right!
Artie:  No,  I'm in a travel agent's office with him.
(8-3)

-Robinswrong

On today's show Howard asked how many times he had played the new phony phone call of "Evil" Dave Letterman calling an adoption agency.  Robin blurted out (like the annoying kid in third grade that always had to act like they knew all the answers), only once!

Thankfully, Bababooey can count and corrected Robin saying that bit had been played twice.  (8-3)

-Robinswrong

Robin Quivers has NO place on a race track.  Period.  A Corvette Z06 is not a "Race Car".  It has no roll cage, it is not safety wired and does not have a proper 5-Point harness system to hold her ass in place when she smacks a wall or God forbid, another driver and kills him.

She barely knows how to drive a standard transmission.  No amount of training will turn her into a competitive racer in a 6-month time frame.

I have been a motorcycle road racer for 7 years (w/ Red One Racing).....I remember the first time I raced competitively, after having done thousands of laps on "track days", and I got lapped by some of the faster riders.  I GUARANTEE Bubba will LAP her in 3 laps or less depending upon the course.  The Balls and ignorance she has amazes me. 

I sincerely hope she slams a wall or flips the car and totals it.  Insurance does not cover racing or track activities.  It'll be sweet to see her put in her place and truly understand that racing isn't a joke and is very dangerous.  I have more broken bones than I'd care to talk about.  I really hope Bubba spanks her ass and puts her in her place. UGH!  (8-3)

-jay d.
 

Gene Simmons came on the show this morning with his long time companion Shannon Tweed.  Robin said Tweed had the wildest career because her movies never enter movie theaters, they just go straight to HBO.

We do believe that Detroit Rock City and Meatballs 3 were in theaters before heading to HBO.  (8-1)

-Robinswrong

This morning Tim Sabien came on the show to talk about the negotiations with Riley Martin. 

After Stern read notes of how badly the negotiations had gone, Sal started playing old sound clips of Riley and Robin began arguing with the clips!!  Robin didn't realize she was arguing with sound clips until Stern revealed that Riley wasn't really on the phone.  (8-1)

-The Amazed Listener

Howard started this show this morning explaining how he had a hard time falling asleep last night because he has been obsessing about chess.  Robin piped in and said, you are like that little kid in Looking for Bobby Fischer.

Just as Robin Quivers invented a new disease yesterday, she invents a new movie today.  The correct name of the movie is Searching for Bobby Fischer.  (8-1)

-Robinswrong